Whatever the case, these are the songs I've noted make the best (and sometimes most surprising) dance hits:
5. Crazy in Love - Beyonce - Okay, I think chicks dig this one more than guys do. It starts off so sassy, like you could sashay down a runway to it, or enter a room full of men in uniform, yank one by the collar, and bring him to his knees with a series of "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-uh huh oh"s. And the sassiness does not stop. Well, until Jay-Z starts rapping. Still, this is a much less threatening dance hit for men to bob along to than say Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back," which, honestly, if embraced, could be the male answer to "Why your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now?"
4. Buffalo Stance - Neneh Cherry - At some point in the party, dancing is not enough. We all have to prove that we know every word to a particular (preferably rap) song that'd be difficult to follow even if the words were written out on a karaoke screen. It becomes a competition of who can get to the chorus without taking a breath and who actually knows the second verse. See also "Bust A Move" or Eminem's "Lose Yourself."
3. I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd - Every dance party has to have a dose of seventh, eighth or ninth grade nostalgia, just to make us feel better about why we've essentially recreated one of the most humiliating moments of adolescence (a school dance) now that we're better adept to partake in one (we're drunk and don't mind making asses of ourselves). Hell, if we're lucky, other drunken asses in the room may find us charming and we may even get laid by acting like unencumbered idiots. Which is why this song is sort of joke, but not.
* This is another one of these songs that can be easily substituted with Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance," Bel Biv Devoe's "Poison," or Tony Toni Tone's "It Feels Good," etc.
2. The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson - I once worked with girls who were too young to remember when Michael Jackson wasn't covered in surgical masks and pasty clay. This is tragic. I'd like to think these young ladies are an anamoly because when the rest of the female population hears "Hey pretty baby, with high (g)heels on," they want to get up and strut for even the noseless, glove-wearing asexuals in the room.
* I realize many will disagree on my MJ song choice here. And while I'm willing to agree that "P.Y.T.," "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" and "Smooth Criminal" are also classics, I've noticed that those don't illicit the same response as "The Way You Make Me Feel" does in someone's home. People are too used to hearing the other songs at clubs, and the point of a dance party is rattle someone off the couch with a "holy shit" or "hell yeah," not make them feel they've entered 80s night.
1. All Night Long - Lionel Richie - Well, my friends the time has come. To raise the roof and have some fun. Imagine, we're on an island off of Jamaica, swirling maitais under the stars, doing some sort of fake mambo, or whatever people do to fake calypso music. With one quick jerk of the wrist, you pour the rest of your drink down your throat and throw your head back in laughter because you're going to party, karambu (?), fiesta, forever. Come on and sing along...ALL! NIGHT! LONG! (All Night!) Oh yeah! Whereas Beyonce is unrelenting from the get-go, Lionel builds you up to a climax....one that's ALL NIGHT LONG for chrissakes! It's the kind of chorus that makes even the non-dancers crawl out from the corners of the party to meet in the middle of the dance floor, stack hands and release in a "Go Team Lionel!" (All Night!) Sure, the man's got a creepy dad vibe (or maybe he just kinda looks like my dad) but his pop attack is oh-so-smooth.
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